In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. — Dalai Lama Click To Tweet
Great, you’ve made the decision to adopt a positive attitude about your health, job or something else that you deem valuable enough to go with, even if it is against the flow.
You’ve announced your decision to your doctor, work colleagues, partner, family or friend. First of all, pat yourself on the back. Why? Because, it took quite a bit of courage to say,
“I am not going to let this cancer or MS or arthritis or……. (insert your diagnosed health condition) beat me!”
Or “I am going to become a teacher of the deaf or a sky diving instructor or a writer or a …..(insert your own dream career here)!”
Or “I am going to open up a charity in aid of deaf blind children or …(insert own charity)……. or have a successful business, or have an art exhibition…!” Whatever it was that you announced, let me say, “Well done!” because the first step is saying it out loud.
If you are very lucky everyone said,
“Fantastic. You will beat this/you will be brilliant/that will be amazing. What can I do to help you?”
But, in real life most of us do not get that response. So this post is for those times.
5 Ways To Keep Positive When
Those Around You Mock, Disagree
or Belittle You
Let’s say they respond in a less than encouraging way or seem supportive at first but soon try to convince you to take another path because, “it’s too hard”, “that’s impossible”, “you are fooling yourself”, “it’s too difficult”, “you’re not good, strong or able enough” or even “grow up and get a proper job”, “be realistic!”…you get the picture.
So, what do you do?
1. Create a sentence for yourself that you can repeat in your head to block out their words, such as:
“I am getting better and healthier every day. My body can regenerate and repair. It has natural healing abilities that I am tapping into right now.”
I have living proof of this working because this was one of Steve’s (my husband) strategies that he used when he was given a diagnosis of terminal cancer with three months left to live. You will see I refer to mantras, visualizations and much more in Nipples to Kneecaps – to die or not to die with cancer.
Here’s another line you can use: “I am going to be a teacher of the deaf because I am intelligent and do have enough emotional strength (or whatever others try to tell you is a barrier for you) and I believe I can make a difference.” Again, I lived this one too! Obviously, insert your job or goal.
“I am opening a charity in aid of ……because I believe…..and I will make a difference.” Go for it, write your sentence/s now!
Repeat your sentence morning and night and at appropriate times (i.e. when someone mocks, disagrees, belittles or to infer disbelief in your abilities gives you that dismissive look or makes that ‘harrumph’ sound!). Print it out and put it next to your bed, on your bathroom mirror, on your computer and in the car. This is to help you subconsciously register it as your reality. Your subconscious will let your conscious mind know that this what it should be working on. It will help you hold onto what you believe so you can live your beliefs, not the other person’s.
2. When their negativity has encouraged your own doubting fears to rise, repeat to yourself, “No matter what I currently see before me, the universe is rearranging itself in my best interest right now!” Again, print it out. Laminate it and put it in accessible places for you to constantly see.
3. Create a vision board, vision book or vision desktop – or all three. When you repeatedly see your goals in picture form it will help you find ways to achieve it/them. Simply cut out photos, pictures and words from magazines, newspapers and the internet and create a collage. I have one in the office and one in my bedroom. It will help you visualize yourself already living that change in your life and reality.
4. Read books, watch videos or TED talks by people who have done what you want to do. Follow them on social media and engage in their posts. You will pick up valuable tips, ideas and virtual support.
In the last few years, I have been reading about epigenetics and how your inner and outer environment can change your DNA genetic expression, especially related to health and illness. Epigenetics is a new area of science, constantly evolving. It seems that we can turn on and off certain epigenetic tags by our interaction with our environment. Now this simply means you may have a genetic predisposition to say – cancer, but your epigenetics have a role to play in whether you go onto develop cancer or not. Scientists are continuing to research why identical twins go on to develop different illnesses – it appears that is determined by their choices and their environment, which affects their epigenetic tags which then turn on/off certain genes in each twin and hence they develop different diseases. Scientists are researching ways to use your epigenetics tags to your benefit.
You are the Placebo by Dr Joe Dispenza also worth a read.
5. Find and connect with real people who are doing what you want to do and/or who can support and encourage you. To make this big change in your life, you will need to reach out and make new friends and associates.
This may mean joining groups, forums and self-help groups in your area of interest e.g. a writers group. Visit complementary healers (if yours is a health change), attend self-development workshops and inspirational conferences. Stretch yourself and try new things but most of all have fun!